Going forward, I will refer to my “song of the day” as “best song ever.”
Music I am digging right now
The Counting Crows
I just saw them at the Greek Theater and it was an excellent show. I even got a setlist. There were lots of great highlights. The new album played super well. The opener gave me tingles. But, A Long December made me cry:
Overlander - Jason Walsmith Storyteller
This is Jason Walsmith of the Nadas. And this is great Americana. If you’re looking for some great folksy American for your entry into fall (after-all, it is September already and the kids are school). This is definitely SFSO (Safe For Scott Orn) music.
Any Shape You Take - Indigo De Souza
Classic indie-pop. Lush. Beautiful. Dark. Full of hope and angst.
Best Song Ever
"I'll be honest, we all liars."
Donda is bloated. Its 1 hour and 38 minutes and effectively a double album. It's not bloated in the great grandiose way the Ye can make things. It's bloated in the same way Chris Farley looked bloated in the days leading up to his OD. If you look at pictures around that time or read interviews with friends (either at that time or looking back), it was clear to everyone that Chris was severely sick at that point and in dire need of help. Just like Farley, the album is bloated because Kanye is sick - and because Ye's albums are a manifestation of the most him available at the time, he = the album and so the album comes across as sick: drugged out, contracting HIV from hookers, and bloated. He/it is full of unhealthy manifestations of the worst parts of his mental illness (not just bipolar, but the personality disorders: narcissistic, anti-social/sociopathic, and probably a bit of borderline in there too) that make it fascinating though. It's a fascinating display of pure narcissism fueled by addiction, divorce, and mania. If you can make it through the album (a daunting feat no doubt), you’ll for sure notice a narrative. And that narrative i think is this:
Ye is broken. He is heading toward rock bottom. His narcissism doesn’t allow him to see this, but his soul gets it, because his words and his friend’s words betray his narcissism. The thing is that this broken narcissism is combined with what can only be described as a convoluted and self-driven version of Christianity that doesn’t seem to have a basis in anything. Throughout the album there is a battle between Kanye the god and Kanye the sinner in need of redemption and his friends are telling him - save Da Baby, who, as he says in his verse, is sorta fighting for his life(style) that he needs it. And, i think it's clear that Kanye the god won out. Kanye the sinner would have taken a month to cut out half the album and double down on the best of the best. Kanye the god thinks he shits gold in his time off and has no need to bring something amazing to the world.
No doubt, the production is awesome. Kanye is first and foremost a producer. And, I think there is some excellent production. I think there are questionable production decisions. For instance, why doesn’t Donda make more a presence throughout the album. I could have used much more of her as a foil to Kanye. There are a couple of great moments in the album and i think Donda’s speech about Kanye where the quote ends with her saying, “and why Kanye ain’t scared.”
I sent the above to a friend and she had a genius response.
I’m glad you lead with the most crucial “if” for this album: if you can make it through listening to it. Undoubtedly many people will force themselves to do it because of Ye and his all star support (sycophants? I have to say, I lost respect for JayZ on this. As a friend/former friend, could he not have swayed Ye to not release this? Or maybe get more therapy?), but nevertheless it is such a slog of self aggrandizement. On the one hand I found most of it simply unbearable - heartache wrapped in anxiety and disillusionment while still posturing some self aggrandizement.
And then I thought about church.
I am on the verge of believing that this may be the most accurate portrayal of contemporary Christianity. If you just say you are doing something “in the name of God” does it absolve you from forming any sort of introspection on if that thing is actually right? Contemporary Christianity (at least for how it is portrayed at scale in the US) is full of anxiety. Fear. Hurt. And also self aggrandizement. Faux pious behavior. Self righteousness. A lack of true substance. Contradiction at the highest level. I’ve always found it so odd that rappers spend so much time thanking God and equal time talking about doing “ungodly” things. There’s no validity to any of it and it just becomes reactionary words that look as if they have meaning.
Is this Ye commenting on this at a meta level?
Ok ok ok, this is probably me trying desperately to not just be a hater and to find something redeemable ( this is partly due to me wanting to practice finding the light in humanity because right now is a really dark time; this is also me not wanting to make another “I told you so - I don’t believe Kanye is worthwhile” type statement). In all truth, I haven’t been able to make it through the album. It’s. Just. Too. Much. I’m close, but a part of me doesn’t want to invest anymore in supporting someone’s sickness because that’s what this album sounds like - a bunch of people supporting a very sick person to continue down their path of sickness. Out of fairness, i’m trying to find a reason for being for this work and am hoping this whole commentary on Christianity is an intentional choice rather than haphazard worship (if you can call this worship..) following those Sunday sessions from the past year.
And here was my response to her
I’ve wished so many times that Kanye was really trolling us and making grand art statements about things. That never turns out to be true.
Your thoughts about church are so spot on that I am angry with myself. After nearly five full listens I didn’t quite reach that realization. And, I’ve been contemplating a lot about religion and christianity in particular and the American version those things. And the fact that I couldn’t connect Kanye’s narcissistic version of Christianity to the version of American christianity operating on its worst instincts is frustrating. I was so close. Thanks for getting me there.
I’ve been struggling with this sort of thinking:
“I am good because I believe in God and the Bible,” and therefore “I get my moral guidance from the Bible.” The result that people end up with is: its mentioned in the Bible I have a moral call, if not, God has no moral judgement. And, in fact, if its presented in the Bible as a moral thing (I am specifically thinking of murder in the case of war) it must therefore be moral. There seems to be as you put it no, “introspection” involved in my morality.
I’ve struggled so much with that thinking that I’ve come just short of the conclusion that someone who has developed their morals based on the Bible and blindly accepts what they believe they see in the Bible is most often significantly LESS moral than someone who has done the work to come up with their values and morality.
But, then I am not sure if I am classifying religion or even Christianity in the way I am just because of the American version and not because that's what the honest intentions of the religion are.
So to build on your super insightful comments… Kanye could be just be great at capturing the zeitgeist. maybe thats his genius. And the zeitgeist of at least a large swath of america is involved in what you refer to as contemporary Christianity and that version of Christianity is dominating our culture or a maybe certain part of American culture. Kanye is trying desperately to be accepted by that part of the American culture or is part of that culture is some strange way. I don’t know.
I have to be honest. I felt some feels about hearing jay on a Kanye verse. Most of my favorite jay verses and songs are somehow related to kanye. But, if you listen to Jay’s verse…He doesn’t say they’re friends, everything is framed as a could be; a possibility. We could be back. If only ye can get his shit together. But then he says to everyone else (and probably himself too): look man, Ye gon be Ye. “He already told you who he thought he was.”
I'm not suggesting you should listen. I listened to it so you don't have to. There is a lot going on and I think it can all be summarized in the first real song on the album, Jail. There are probably better songs on the album, but Jail is the first full song (after the repeated Donda) and really sets up the entire (double) album. Check this song out and if you want more, feel free to explore.
Other Stuff to Check Out
A Podcast About 5 Horizons
Did you follow Five Horizons back in the nineties to fuel your Pearl Jam fandom? I sure did and I know alot of others did. This podcast is great and does an excellent job of telling the history of that super important site.
Bandsplain on U2
Bandsplain has a 4 hour podcast about U2. I’m not through it, but I am learning a lot.